Body Image.

I was walking around the CA. Capitol today and the topic of body image came to mind. Both men and women suffer from body image, although it is more common in women. As I have discussed on my blog before, I have suffered from many different aspects of body image for many years. I was looking through old pictures the other day, and came across one from high school. In high school I always felt that I was overweight and disgusting. When I saw this picture again for the first time probably since it was developed, the first words out of my mouth were, "oh my god, I was so skinny!" 

The craziest part to me was the fact that for years I had thought I was overweight, disgusting, I couldn't stand how I looked at times, and I was insecure, only to look back 10+ years later and wonder why I felt any of that. The answer is perception and perspective. I think it's the answer for all of the body image problems. 

What's funny is people will blame Barbie and movie stars for the reasons girls grow up and feel insecure about themselves. Let's face it, I knew I was never going to be a Barbie, she was way too tall. I was always more like Skipper. But in all honesty, I don't blame Barbie or the movie stars, but I think society has a lot to do with the insecurities a girl or woman feels at times. If you think about it society molds how movie stars act too.

I remember when getting clothes at Target was the most uncool thing you could do. When I was younger I would cry if I had to go to Target to get clothes; I would be so embarrassed. Now, half my wardrobe is from Target! Target tried to revamp its image, and societies perception of Target changed, therefore changing my perspective on buying clothes at Target. 

So going back to body image, in the Britney Spears song Piece of Me, she sings (well kinda) a line, "I'm misses she's too big, now she's too thin." What I appreciate about this is the truth in it. No matter what you look like tall, short, overweight, underweight, perfect weight, perfect skin, acne, perfect teeth, gapped teeth, blonde, brunette, red head, White, Hispanic, Asian, someone somewhere is going to have something negative to say about you. A lot of the time, people tear down other people because of their own insecurities. They may or may not be directly related to the ones they are trying to point out in you, but regardless there will always be someone with something negative to say. 

The problem with body image is, it can control our lives and take over our way of thinking and feeling. When one person, even someone who is so insignificant in our lives, points out something we notice about ourselves everyday that makes us insecure, we allow that person to become so significant in our life. Reason being, that person made you aware that other people notice what you notice everyday. They made this insecurity feel real. The problem with this is, who the hell said your body, life, career or education path, is supposed to be one way or another? There's no such thing as perfect, but there is such thing as Photoshop.

We constantly allow society to dictate what we think about ourselves. Then we allow those that criticize our lives, how we look, how we do things, etc. bring us down even more. Suffering from a body image problem doesn't just happen to overweight people, it happens to underweight people, normal weight people, tall people, short people, men, women, children, teenagers, it happens to EVERYONE. As long as someone isn't hurting another person/animal/object, who cares what that person is doing? Who cares what they look like, as long as they are healthy. I say as long as they are healthy because I am a strong advocate for people living a healthy lifestyle as best as possible.

I still suffer at times from body image, I have my bad days, but most of the time it's because I am a woman and we tend to bloat and feel gross during certain periods of time. However, what I have done for myself is one of the best things I could've done. I stopped listening to other people, stopped letting them hurt me, and I started living for me. I don't workout because it's the "right thing to do", I workout because I want to. I don't eat healthy (what I consider healthy since there are many different diets/lifestyles) because it's the "right thing to do", I eat the way I eat because I want to. I don't buy other clothes because they are in style, I buy clothes because I like them. I do look in the mirror everyday, even on bad days, and tell myself that I am beautiful, especially on the inside because that's what matters most to me. I do tell others how gorgeous they are, how proud of them I am, and lift them up when they are down. Why? Because that IS the right thing to do. Since I have started doing this I have seen an amazing return on positivity and happiness in my life.

Stop listening to society, stop listening to bullies, stop letting others tear you down. I know it's hard because I've been there. I have spent nights crying, days depressed, years feeling like I wasn't enough, but you know what changed? My perception of myself, and my perspective on life. I used to say I can't all the time, I used to say I'm not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough. I let those who bullied me get the best of me because I listened to them and then became my own worst enemy, I became the biggest bully to myself. I allowed myself to suffer from selfpity because I didn't think I was good enough. I suffered from an eating disorder because I thought it made me better and prettier. When I was suffering the most from my eating disorder, I didn't understand people when they said I was too thin because I didn't see that. When I looked in the mirror I saw what the girls above saw. When I saw pictures I thought I looked great. The perception I had of myself was that I was finally beautiful, even though I knew I was sick. 

How did I overcome it? I have come to realize there is no such thing as perfect. Everything, everyone has flaws, and those are what make people beautiful. I confessed to one person, my fiancé, that I was sick, and then it became real. I knew I didn't want to be sick or cause my body pain anymore. It took me a long time to choose happy over selfpity, it took a long time for me to turn can't into can, and it still takes strength everyday to remember that I am better than what society dictates is perfect. Why? Because I am my own person, I am not in competition with anyone else, I do not thrive on others misery, and I do not seek joy from others pain. 

To the bullies: I wish you didn't have the power to affect peoples lives as much as you do. It's unfortunate. I hope you can realize that people other than you are humans too. They have feelings, and suffer from insecurities and hardships. Who are you to say they are any less than any other person? 

To those who suffer from body image: I hope when you look in the mirror you see a gorgeous human. I hope that you don't pity yourself for too long and waste precious time on things that are so insignificant. YOU CAN, AND YOU WILL.

To those who live with an eating disorder: Tell someone. Let those around you help you. Whether you over eat, binge, purge, don't eat, there is a way to feel better about yourself. Let yourself feel happiness in a healthy way. Change your life for you, and never look back. It will be hard, but you're a fighter, and you CAN and WILL do this.

To everyone: Take time out of your day to let others know how amazing they are, how proud of them you are, how beautiful they are, and help them to see what they are worth. 5 words, 5 minutes, 1 conversation can change somebody's life. Be the change you want to see.

I hope everyone chooses happy and healthy as their lifestyle, and sees how the positivity of making those life choices can only change your life for the better.

Love,

Christina