The Fault In My Stars

I just finished reading The Fault In Our Stars by John Green. It took me a little longer to read than most people because when I really love a book, I don't want it to end, so I spread it out over a few weeks to make it last longer. Even though it is a fictional novel, it still makes me ponder death, as all books or movies do when there is death in them.

As time has gone on, as I have gotten older, I have begun to have more questions about death. I guess I have started to fear it. When my mom died 10 years ago, I never really thought about what death really was, I just accepted that I would never see her again unless it was in my dreams. I was the person who was affected by her death, along with others, but I never thought of what it would be like to affect others by dying.

Although I am still young, our time here is so uncertain. I guess that is what I fear the most, and I guess that is what has helped me guide my life lately. I want to feel that if I die tomorrow that I would be content on how I lived my life. My actions lately have all be strategic moves towards achieving happiness and the feeling of being content in this chess game of life.

I used to fear having children, for the fear that I would leave this earth and therefore them before I was ready, or I thought they would be ready. I didn't want to get married because that would mean I would have no real attachments. It wasn't until I realized why I didn't want these things that I realized that I feared dying and the unknown.

In the last six months, I was able to realize that I was unable to achieve happiness because I was living in fear and therefore I was not living. I've made a vow to live my life selfishly for things that I want, and in turn I would take care of myself as best as I can so I can live this life as long as I can. I believe in spirits and afterlife but I only get this life on earth once. Living for today so I can live for tomorrow has been part of my quest to choose happy and choose healthy. I don't see how I could ever regret either of those things.

There's people that won't ever get to live another day, or live another day the way they would want to. How could I be so selfish as to not live my life for fear of not being able to live anymore or live the way I want to.

"You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have some say in who hurts you."

You can't help being hurt by having those you love die, but I'd rather hurt than never know them at all.

In loving memory of My Mother, Cindy Fichera, My Grandfather, Pat Cambria, My Grandmother, Alice Fichera, My Aunt, Wendy Cambria, My Uncle, Jeff Cambria, and My Friend, Johnny.

Green Smoothie & Light But Filling Summer Salad

My whole life I haven't been a coffee fan. Most people think I'm crazy when I say that, but the smell, taste, look, everything is unappealing to me. A few years ago in 2011, I did the raw food diet for about 30 days. It was one of the most excruciating things I've ever done. At times it would be really easy, and at other times it wasn't. One of the things I did really enjoy from the raw food diet was green smoothies. Now, green smoothies are like my coffee. I drink them pretty much everyday. I have a variety that I have come up with throughout the years, but today I am going to share with you my tropical green smoothie.

Green smoothies are super easy to make, a great way to get essential vitamins and minerals in a raw form, and when you make them well, you can't even taste the greens you put in. 

What You'll Need:

2 cups organic power green mix 

1 cup organic tropical fruit mix

16oz coconut water

1 frozen banana

1 scoop brown rice protein powder (or any other protein powder your prefer)

How To Prepare:

1. Pour coconut water and power green mix in blend, and blend until all the leaves are completely blended.

2. Add a frozen banana and blend until it has been completely blended as well.

3. Add one scoop protein powder and 1 cup tropical fruit. 

4. Drink & Enjoy! (Serves 2)

For my protein powder, I use Sunwarrior brown rice protein powder. Sometimes I use Perfect Fit Protein but it is a little stevia heavy for me. 

I can get all this stuff at Trader Joes, but you can find it at the supermarket as well. 

**TIP: Don't ever get rid of bananas because you don't think you can eat them all. Always put them Ina freezer bag and freeze them. 

Looking for something that is filling but also light? Look no more! This grain salad is amazing and perfect for summer! Can be eaten as a main meal or a side dish. This recipe is also really simple which always helps! 

What You'll Need:

1 cup brown rice 

2 cups water

1 can black beans

Trader Joes (or any store's) tropical mango, pineapple salsa

1 avocado (or 2 if you LOVE avocado like I do!)

How To Prepare:

1. Cook your rice as instructed on the bag or box. All rice varies so it is better to go based off the instructions own bag or box.

2. When the rice has about 7-8 minutes left to cook, put the can of beans in a small sauce pan and cook until the juice of the beans starts to simmer. 

3. Once the beans and rice are both done, add the rice to a big bowl. Drain the beans and rinse them and then add them to the bowl of rice. Give them a good mix.

4. Add 3/4 cup of the salsa to the bowl and mix until fully incorporated.

5. Cover with foil or plastic wrap and let it cool in the fridge for at least an hour and a half. 

6. Once it is cooled, serve chilled with avocado on top. Sprinkle the avocado with just a touch of sea salt and fresh ground pepper.

7. Eat & Enjoy!!! (Serves 4)

**Notes: If you or your family aren't a big fan of beans, you can add cubes of chicken, or cubes of tofu to replace the beans. 

Also, other types of rice, jasmine, white, etc. would work in this dish, brown rice just had the best overall nutrition value.

PS - Did you know beans and rice are a complete protein when consumed together or consumed within a short period of time from each other??? It's true!

Taking Risks To Make Dreams Come True

If you asked me three years ago what my goal in life would be, it would be to become a Direct of Human Resources. Sure, there is nothing wrong with that goal, it was very corporate of me. (To say the least...) As time went on, my goals and dreams changed. I am still the same person as I was then, I just see self worth and happiness in a different way.

When I set out to lose weight a little over two years ago, I would have never guessed it would have the impact on my life that it has. Not only have I become happier, healthier, and more self confident, I have also become aware. Through research and trial and error, I have gained awareness of a healthy lifestyle and balance. 

My goal now is to spread this awareness to families, to give women confidence again, to help eliminate childhood obesity, to help those who suffer with eating disorders, and most of all to create a balanced lifestyle for all. 

There's a saying, "you can't have your cake and eat it too." But I am standing here saying why not? You only get one life to live, so have your cake and eat it too. Learn what it is like to experience balance, and achieve overall happiness, while looking and feeling your best!

For a long time I lived for everyone else. I let everything and everyone affect me. I was miserable in so many ways. I could never see the silver lining, the cloud was always entirely black and pouring down on me. I had a lot of self pity, and I wasted a lot of my life in that mindset. 

I decided to start living my life for me, and only worrying about what I thought about myself. I felt that if I was pleased with myself, than I would be happy. I've realized I'm never going to be perfect, but if I was perfect my life would be boring because I would have nothing to improve on. I am my own DIY project that never ends, and I am PROUD of that! 

As I was sitting at my desk at work about to cry, I decided it was time to make a bold move. I took a risk and resigned from my job a few weeks ago. July 11 will be my last day. I've never taken a risk like this, I've always lived by the book, but I can tell you that since I made the decision to leave and chase my dreams, I've never been happier. I am ready to spread awareness and happiness to all, and not through rainbows and butterflies, but through hard life changing work. It's up to you to choose happy. It's up to you to choose healthy. I am hoping you choose both for yourself and let me help you get there. Live for today, for tomorrow, and for many more days to come. 

I've already begun having my cake and eating it too. It's your turn to join me.

~ without risk, there is no reward ~

Summer Timeee & The Grilling's Easy...

I LOVE SUMMER! Seriously though, what's not to love? Long warm days, tan skin, beach hair, and most of all AMAZING food!

Grilling is one of the easiest and most efficient ways to cook a meal. I also love that, generally speaking, when you grill it is outside, so your house doesn't warm up like it does when an oven or the stove is on. Another reason why grilling is so fantastic is so much of what you cook on a grill is light and healthy, but super satisfying. (Which isn't always easy!) Oh and usually there are WAYYY less dishes! Tonight I am going to share some things that I love to grill, and how to prepare them.

Balsamic Marinated Grilled Portobello Mushroom

Ingredients:
Portobello Mushrooms
Balsamic Vinegar
Sea Salt
Fresh Ground Pepper

Portobello mushrooms can be marinated two different ways; you can marinate it over night, or marinate it for a shorter time.

When you marinate it over night, it tends to have more of a balsamic vinegar taste to it since the balsamic really gets to set into the mushroom. Whereas marinating it for a shorter time you still get the flavor but it is not as prominent. Personally they were both amazing to me, but if I knew I was going to be grilling mushrooms tomorrow night, I would marinate the mushroom over night, or at least prepare it in the morning.

To Marinate and Grill the Mushroom:
1. Pour a little bit of balsamic at the bottom of lidded container and swish the mushroom cap around in it.
2. Lay the mushroom head down, with its fibers showing.
3. Pour more balsamic into the mushrooms fibers and use your fingers to get it into the crevices gently.
4. Add a little bit of salt and pepper.
5. Put it in the fridge to marinate for the preferred amount of time.
6. When you are ready to grill your mushroom, start by preheating the grill to low-medium heat.
7. Place the mushroom head down on the grill with the fibers facing up. Let it cook with the top down for 6 to 7 minutes.
8. Check on the mushroom to see if there are grill marks on the cap. If there are grill marks, turn the mushroom over to grill on the other side. If not, continue to grill for another couple minutes and then turn the mushroom.
**NOTE: When you turn the mushroom over, use some of the leftover balsamic to pour on top of the mushroom cap.
9. After another 6 to 7 minutes, take the mushroom off the grill, and Enjoy!

Grilled Zucchini

Possibly my most favorite grilled veggie ever. SO simple, SO delicious, SO incredibly satisfying!

1. Wash zucchini well.
2. Trim off both ends of the zucchini and cut the zucchini down the middle.
3. Put the zucchini face down on a grill that is preheated and on low-medium heat. Grill for about 6 to 8 minutes on the cut side of the zucchini, flip them and cook for another 4 to 5 minutes.
**OPTIONAL: For extra flavor, you can brush the zucchini with a bit of olive oil and salt and pepper, but it is not necessary.

Green Bean Grill Pack

In a couple weeks, I will do a blog on the variety of grill packs one can have. They are truly one of the most amazing and easiest ways to enhance a meal.

Ingredients:
Minced garlic (I cheat and get the pre-minced garlic in a jar)
Sea Salt
Pepper
Foil

Preparing and Grilling:
1. Rip a piece of foil that is big enough to fold over your vegetables.
2. Place your cleaned green beans in the center of the foil.
3. Add a tablespoon of garlic, a pinch of salt, and some fresh ground pepper to the green beans, and mix well with your hands.
4. Fold up the bottom and top of the pack (horizontally) so that it makes a gate. Next, fold in the sides and roll it together tight, then fold in the bottom and top tight too.
5. Place on a low-medium heated grill for about 10 - 12 minutes.
6. Enjoy!

Nothing screams summer like grilling outdoors, listening to music, and enjoying a glass of wine!

CHEERS! :)

Meatless Monday: Lentil Street Tacos

I don't know about you, but I get cravings for foods like I am 6 months pregnant. (I'm not pregnant at all) My body just craves food, hence why I am a fat kid at heart. Before my weight loss journey began, I let myself indulge in any and all foods my body craved. On the top of that list was pizza! Mmm I have loved pizza my whole life. Once my journey began, I worked hard to satisfy my cravings with healthy alternatives. Sure, it's not always the same taste, but my cravings are usually fulfilled beyond what I had hoped for.

The other day I started craving street tacos. Corn tortillas, meat, salsa, onions, cilantro... GET IN MY BELLY!!! Since I've stopped eating meat approximately four months ago, I have been having to think of even more creative alternatives to my already creative alternatives. ;) (More about my choice to go vegan in later posts.) I wasn't feeling tofu, and as much as I was kind of feeling black or pinto beans, it wasn't going to be enough to fulfill this craving I was having. As I roamed through my cupboards, which I do often, I came across some green lentils. That was all the inspiration I needed to create bomb.com meatless street tacos!

Lentils are filled with protein and fiber, making them nutrient dense! I took these for lunch this today, and they are a WINNER!

Ingredients
Serving Size 12 Tacos

1 cup green lentils
1 can diced tomatoes
1/2 tablespoon ground cumin
3 large garlic gloves minced
salt and pepper to taste
1/2 a large onion diced
1/2 cup cilantro
1/2 cup salsa verde
12 blue corn or corn tortillas

1. Pick over lentils and discard any bad lentils, then rinse the lentils in a fine strainer.
2. Drain the liquid of the diced tomatoes into a measuring cup. Fill the rest of the measuring cup with water up to 2 1/4 cups.
3. In a saucepan, add the tomato and water mixture, diced tomatoes, lentils, garlic, and cumin.
4. Bring to a rapid simmer, and then reduce to a light simmer and cooked uncovered for 30 minutes.
5. Dice onions and cilantro.
6. Add water to make sure lentils are just covered, cover the saucepan with a lid, and continue to cook for 30 minutes. *Note: At this point check on lentils every 15 minutes to ensure they do not overcook.
7. Remove the lentils from the heat, leaving the saucepan covered for 5 minutes.
8. Salt and pepper to taste.
9. Serve on blue corn or regular corn tortillas, topped with salsa verde, onion, and cilantro.

Voila! Enjoy!

Please tag @afatkidatheart in your picture on Instagram if you make these and hashtag #afatkidatheart so I can see all your yummy creations!

RAW: My Weight Loss Journey

Ever have those moments in life when you don't feel like you are where you are supposed to be in life? That you have worked so hard and this is where you ended up? Ever feel like it can't get better than what you are doing, even though you absolutely hate it? Circle back two weeks ago when I was sitting at my desk at work, I am a Human Resources Generalist, about to start bawling my eyes out because I did not want this to be my life anymore. I hated sitting at a desk, I hated being in such a structured position, and I hated that I had value to contribute and yet I was constantly looked at as a small fish in a big pond. At that moment, I made the decision to quit my job and focus my attention to the things I love: Nutrition, Fitness, and Beauty.

I started my weight loss journey two years ago, in March of 2012. It was when I had finally told myself that I was not happy with who I was, and instead of complaining about it, I was going to change it. I am 5' 2" and at the time I was nearing 150 pounds. I have a body type where I do not necessary get rolls of fat when I gain weight, I just get very thick. I was in a size 8 in pants, and they were beginning to feel uncomfortable on me. I could not justify buying new clothes because I was too big to fit into the ones I had. I want to add, that I know I did not look horrible, or ugly for that matter, but I was uncomfortable, and most of all I was unhappy. 

When my mom died in 2004, I was 17 and just graduated high school. I through myself into school, extracurriculars, and part time jobs to keep me busy. I kind of swept it under the rug instead of dealing with it. What I didn't realize was that I was emotionally stress eating, binge eating, and purging. I was trying to ease my emotions by controlling them, but I was only hurting myself more. I also did this because I suffered from being insecure due to events that had occurred in my life both before and after my mom died. I never felt like I was good enough, pretty enough, worthy enough. Until this past year I had still continued to suffer with these insecurities, food addictions, and disorders.

When I began my weight loss journey in 2012, it was not all rainbows and unicorns. I experienced moments of defeat, heartache, and unhappiness. It took me over a month to lose even a pound, and I was so completely discouraged. I kept wanting to give up, but then I would look at myself and cry and knew that if I gave up, I couldn't say I was trying so I had to stick to it. When I went to the doctors in the beginning of May 2012, I had dropped 10 pounds. Sad part is, I had been so focused on being negative about myself and to myself, I couldn't even realize how much I had accomplished.

It was at this time that I decided to put the scale away. I only used the scale at the gym, and I would only weigh myself on the first of each month. By September I had lost another 20 pounds, and from there I would lose another 15, and get down to my lowest weight of 105. At this point I was pretty much bulimic. I would barely eat, workout all the time, and then binge eat, feel bad about it, and purge. I could not see that I was unhealthy because I thought I look great, even when everyone told me I was too thin. I could pull off size 00 shorts and yet I still thought I was fat. 

In September of 2013, I competed in my first triathlon. It was the first week that grad school started back up. Two weeks later, I had a breast augmentation done. I was unable to workout for a month, not even speed walking. At first I thought I was going to die without being able to workout, but looking back it was the best thing that has happened to me. During the fall semester, I worked full time, went to school full time, and was President of the MBA Networking Association on campus. I was so busy I didn't even have time to workout, and in addition to not working out, I was eating out of convenience. Now that might sound horrible, but what it helped me do was get to a weight that was healthy for me and helped my brain take a break from obsessing over what I was eating and how I was going to work it off. 

I now weigh between 112-115, I am still a 00, but I actually fit into my clothes, and sometimes they are a little snug and I am okay with that. I have curbed myself from being bulimic, I have learned to listen to my body, I eat whole foods, and I have never felt better about myself or my life, maybe since forever.

This journey has made me want to help others change their lives but in the healthiest way possible. I want to bring the happiness I feel everyday to those who can't seem to feel it at all. This blog, along with my company, will give insight into healthier lifestyles, so that not only women, but men and children can feel the best about themselves and the lives they are living.

A Fat Kid At Heart represents the journey that I have made, and that I hope you choose to make with me.